Bogus Technologies
The Leader in Enterprise Systems, Storage & Networking
"Our Enterprise network needed to be updated in the worst way;
that's why we went with Bogus Technologies."

   Collette O'Day
   Network Infrastructure Director
   Mendacious Guaranty National Bank
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Bogus Technologies Executive Management
Worst Ever IT CompaniesPercy J. Whitebread, III -- President and CEO

Percy Whitebread has provided strong leadership in developing the company's vacuous Enterprise IT business strategy, replacing good people with a sub-par middle management team, and securing venture capital from duplicitous investors.  His glib self-assurance, unmatched prevarication and complete disregard for customers' computing, networking and storage requirements were key factors in Bogus Technology's decision to eschew high technology products and services.

Whitebread is widely considered to be a high powered dilettante in the areas of Networking, Virtualization and Business Continuity, particularly in regard to his enthusiastic and imaginative use of expense accounts.  Prior to Bogus, Whitebread was instrumental in the demise of several technology start-ups and leading IT companies -- fortunately excluding Cisco, EMC, IBM, HP, Oracle and SAP.

Whitebread attended Columbia University one afternoon during the Community Open House in 1986.  Later in his career, under the influence of hallucinogens, he imagined that he received an MBA with honors from the Stanford Business School.


Worst Ever Board ExecutiveAlbert T. Jackson -- Executive Vice President and CFO

Al Jackson came to Bogus in 2007 with the acquisition of Delusional Systems, Inc. where he was Director of Unprincipled Revenue Recognition and Obfuscation.  While at Delusional, Jackson introduced felonious business practices and parsimonious marketing programs which led to a precipitous decline in revenue -- resulting in major savings in staffing costs, taxes and sales commissions.

Jackson is a probationary member of the AICPA, and chairman emeritus of the Organization of Displaced Chief Financial Officers (San Quentin Chapter), where he served for five years following a hostile takeover of FlyByNite Electronics Distribution by the good people from the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Mr. Jackson graduated from the Purdue University of Poultry Econometrics, and subsequently received a Certificate of Minimal Accomplishment from Ralph's Moving and Self-Stor, specializing in Storage Management.  Jackson has an unhealthy fondness for young boys which he fulfills through an executive volunteer position with the YMCA.


ERP, financial management, bogus accountingDr. Yogesh. S. Asgudasmayan -- Senior Vice President of Financial Planning

Yogesh has been instrumental in developing Bogus Technologies' financial modeling and accounting policies, and was responsible for managing the successful completion of our cursory SAS-70 audit and superficial examination by the SEC,  Prior to being promoted to SVP of Financial Planning, Asgudasmayan served as Vice President of Sales Forecasting for the Celadon Enterprise Systems Division. 

Previously he was a senior executive with Cumbrous Systems, Inc. where he was Director of Accounting and became Vice President and Controller prior to their acquisition by BogusTech.  In his early career Yogush was a soporific financial analyst and indolent staff consultant with Toilette Douche Professional Services in London.

Dr. Asgudasmayan earned a B.Sc. in Quantitative Adumbration from the Surat Technical College, and went on to study Creative Dissimulation at the Mumbai Center for Financial Legerdemain.  In 1989 he received a Ph.D. in Industrial Economics from the Jaipur Institute of Recondite Technology.


Enterprise Financial Management, ERP and SAS-70Levon Holdenauer -- Senior Vice President of Technical Support

Levon Holdenauer has been responsible for the growth of our Technical Support organization, which is known throughout the world as a pernicious disservice.  His initiative in overseeing the development of Bogus Technologies' Complaint Repudiation and Malfeasance (CRM) system led to a new nadir in customer satisfaction and record turnover in the Tech Support Department.

Before taking over our Global Support Team, Levon managed our European Call Center operations in Kunden Hass, Germany and coordinated the development of the Minderwertigkeit chip manufacturing facility in Essen.  In 2007 he was assigned to manage our new Customer Retention department, where we placed all responsibility for keeping our customers on Holdenauer.

Levon attended the Dume Kinder Polytechnic Institute in East Berlin, where he received a certificate of tenuous aptitude and consistently middling performance in lieu of an M.S. in Electrical Engineering with Honors.


Good People Top IT ManagementLaura J. Everett -- Chief Marketing Officer

In her three years with Bogus Technologies, L.J. Everett has been responsible for the tremendous growth in the company's inflated image, inscrutable positioning and messaging, weekly spam campaigns, and exaggerated marketing claims.  Ms. Everett devised and implemented the Internet-based promotional strategy which has partially compensated for Bogus' industry-leading technological ineptitude, deceptive pricing policies, and widely reviled customer service.

Driven by unbridled ambition and a personal commitment to promiscuity and substance abuse, Everett has pioneered in unorthodox and highly successful direct marketing techniques including abject groveling, prevarication and mendacity in the development and production of Enterprise IT customer testimonials, Disaster Recovery white papers, Enterprise Applications case studies, and articles on Green Computing for IT Companies.

Everett is a graduate of the Sam Houston Institute of Technology, with advanced studies in egregious hyperbole, insipid overstatement and other prosaic forms of Marketing Communications.


Recruiting, training and Human ResourcesHiram Tamara -- Vice President of Human Resources

As a six year veteran of Bogus Technologies, Hiram has been responsible for recruiting and training nearly all of our employees and contractors.  He instituted BogusTech's policies and procedures for interviewing, hiring, orientation, career guidance and prompt termination prior to eligibility for benefits and stock option vesting.

Before being promoted to VP of Human Resources, Hiram was Human Resources Director for the DAS-Ease Virtualization Software Group where he managed our de-hiring program enabled by the outsourcing of software development to Somalia. 

Mr. Tamara graduated with honors from the Tenebrous Business School in Fukuoka, Japan.  He is the author of Offshoring for Short Term Gains and is a frequent blogger on high tech forums, with abstruse postings on the topics of employee demotivation, subtle ethnic discrimination and unfair labor practices.


Worst Ever Information TechnologyIsador M. Bogus, MCSE, CCSIP, GED, BFD -- Founder and CTO

After starting Bogus Technologies in 2005, Isador returned to his native Moldavia to complete his secondary education at the Bacau Institute of Electrical Engineering and Tire Cosmetology, pending reinstatement of his H1B visa.  During this hiatus, the Board of Directors and venture investors elected to demote Mr. Bogus and issue a secondary stock offering which diluted his ownership to .00328% of the Company.  Isador remains a valuable Bogus Technologies contributor, most notably in the areas of advancing our technology and product roadmap, and replacing toner cartridges in the breakroom printer.

While visiting the Moldavian Enterprise IT library in Chisinau,  Mr. Bogus overlooked numerous published articles on Agile Development, WAN, SAN, Fibre Channel. Channel-Attached Storage, Virtualization, SaaS, SOA, high performance routers, network switches, domain controllers, 10 Gigabit Ethernet, VoIP, MPLS, and network security appliances.
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